December 24, 2010

The Day 31st Dec

I could still well remember the day I lost my father. Dad and I, we were not that close. I remember him as a fierce person to deal with, ever. He’s not used to talk to us. Anything that came out from his mouth would be either to give orders or to scream out loud. Usually it was the latter. But then, he was a workaholic. I know, everyone in that house knows how hard working he was. And it was all for the betterment of the family. Nevertheless, Allah loves him more..

It was on a dark Friday noon 31st Dec 1985; I was preparing myself with my new year resolution, new school bag, new diary (which I stop ‘talking’ to it after few month of writing) while dad, he was just turned 39. At first he had complained about some pain in the eyes, followed by some severe chest paid, headache (he barely could walk for a Friday prayer that day), vomited continuously and eventually declared death of enormous blood pressure at 5pm.

Things were so sudden for all of us. Mom was always being full time housewife, I was then just 13. Lights in front of the tunnel seem just getting shady. Yet, kita tidak pernah tahu apa perancangan Tuhan untuk kita..

Every now and then whenever we are about to reach 31st Dec, I will always remember the feeling of burden and at the same time obligation of being the so-called fatherless son. For some reason, I’m felt the same feeling leaving behind 31st Dec 2010. It’s like a slow torch burning, slowly but deeply harassing your skin deep. It’s leaving behind scars in a long run. 2010 left behind lots of memories, that’s one thing I can assure of.

But then again, I’ve managed the 1st of Jan 1986 and I’m quite sure I will survive the day after 31st Dec 2010 too. InsyaAllah. I guess I just need to learn how to enjoy the ‘freefall’. Nonetheless, I really hope I will remember how to smile again…to make my world and the world surrounding me sensible & worthwhile.

“Should all acquaintance be forgot”..2010. Happy New Year! Here we go 2011..

P/s – Semoga kebahagiaan, kedamaian, dan yang paling utama rahmatNya sentiasa dengan kita semua..

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